true life hot mess mom

My five grown kids are probably rolling their eyes but I’m old now so I don’t care. Ha!

But on a serious note, this summer has taught me a lot about being “alone” after pouring my heart and soul into tiny humans for the past 22 years. Some of you super-human mamas out there have done it for longer and I tip my hat to you!!!!

When everything that had your full attention is removed, what’s left? Yourself. Whats sad is that I want to relate to my young adult children so badly but there’s something to be said for all the experiences I’ve had as a “mother” and the wisdom I’ve gleaned from it.

If only I could be seen for that.

It’s different being a parent to adult children. You suddenly can be yourself without having to be this strong “super-human” that meets everyone’s needs, anymore. Instead, you can just “hang out” with a group of adults that sort of remind you of your younger self. Even if you didn’t produce them, because let’s face it, there’s a lot of human nature that can’t be explained by genetics.

But something else happens when you become an Empty Nester. Your young adult children have their own lives, outside of you. It’s what you prayed for, honestly. That your kids would be able to care for themselves and be kind people. I mean, that’s what I prayed day-in and day-out, anyway.

And then it happened.

They have whole lives outside of yours. Sure they make time around the holidays or after I’ve given subtle hints a few times that I am lonely and miss them but I don’t want that to be the only reason they stop by/invite us over.

Hello Peri-Menopause! Am I right? Sheesh! But am I alone?

I totally regret not having more grace for my mom after I moved out and she became an empty nester. Or even my dad when I moved in with my mom at 15!

Hindsight I guess.

Just hope I’m alive long enough to be there for that conversation when they realize I wasn’t that bad, life wasn’t that bad for them when they were with me, and I’m someone with a pulse that would like to hang out.

I’ll probably get in trouble for this, but until next time.

Stay kind, alright? And give some credit and grace every once in while. Life is so much more than our mistakes.

Love, Jes