Okay, I’m being a little dramatic. It’s actually only day 11 but who’s counting?
Everyone. Everyone is counting.
During this social distancing, stay inside order, quarantine; whatever you want to call it, I’ve really been inside my head. Like more than usual.
I start each day with quiet time with the Lord where I read a few verses, journal about them, say a prayer, and then have 10 minutes of silence; like a form of meditation. These moments have been invaluable to my stress and anxiety level. But they also have me really thinking.
Depression.
It’s something a lot of people don’t like to talk about or even admit they struggle with because it’s an unseen illness. It’s so easy to say to a loved one, “Just take a deep breath and get over it.” Or, “Why can’t she just get out of bed and move past this?” Or, my favorite, “She’s just looking for attention.” You know how I know people say these things? Because I’ve said them before. Guilty. As. Charged.
We roll our eyes at mental illness. We scoff at those that just can’t function in society. Why, you ask?
Because we aren’t in their heads. We aren’t in their shoes. There’s no visible wounds like a broken leg. Since we can’t see it, we think it doesn’t exist.
Not like Santa. He definitely exists.
But in all seriousness, we need to pay attention to those stuck inside, that battle mental illness.
Staying inside and avoiding all responsibilities is my M.O. when it comes to my depression. I sleep a lot more, eat a lot more, and ignore all social gatherings. So…. basically what it’s like right now. Only this isn’t a choice my brain is making, this is being forced upon me.
It’s like depression is being forced upon us.
Let’s take a minute and think about that right now. When we are busy with social engagements, working outside of the home, going to the grocery store, all the mundane things we want vacations from; it keeps us from wallowing in self-pity or succumbing to our worst enemy: ourselves.
But here we are. On a forced vacation inside of ourselves.
So many moms are posting amazing activities they are doing with their kids. I applaud you. You are doing amazing things. Your kids are going to look back at this as one of their favorite memories. All the crafts and board games and cooking together. I’m literally jealous of that. My kids can’t be together for 2.5 seconds without calling each other names and putting each other down. Then that makes me crack open another bottle of wine and I only have so much left so we have to use that sparingly. Do you see my problem here?
Sigh.
I shouldn’t compare myself to other moms out there but it just looks like you have it all together during this pandemic of 2020. I’m just sitting here glad I showered.
But I’m okay, we’re okay, our family is okay. We are also safe and I am so blessed by that.
Just remember those that aren’t doing okay during this pandemic because their mental health may be suffering. Reach out to someone via calling, or video chat. Make them uncomfortable but then when they smile, you’ll realize it’s all worth it.
Hang in there my friends and stay safe.
Love, Jessie
true life hot mess mom 